To Brother or Not to Brother…



After confirming Lily’s extra chromosome, several people in our life had questions (go figure!). One thing we were asked was if we were going to have more children. We found varying opinions on this from both parents with a child with Down syndrome and parents of children with typical syndrome (oh yes I said it- sort of made it up, lol).

Some were fearful or thought we should be fearful to have another child, lest they too have DS, others said it shouldn’t stop us and still others said we should have another baby to help spurn Lilys’ development.

If you look at the photo then you know which direction we went J. Seriously though- we knew we wanted more children and began planning for our second child when Lily was 6 months old. When she was 11 months old, her baby brother was already baking.

We wanted another baby for us……and for Lily. Some may not understand this point but I will do my best to clarify. We want to have children until we feel our biological family is complete. Maybe that will be two or maybe it will happen after the third child- we don’t know. We only know that our feelings on wanting more than one child did not change with Lilys’ diagnosis.

Just as some want their first born to have a sibling to go through life with, so did we. We wanted a sibling for Lily so she can have an ally, so she can have someone to compete with and stay motivated by, so she will have someone who will reciprocate her unconditional love and so she will have someone to take care of her when we are no longer here.

That last sentence is hard for me to write. So many people with DS end up in homes when there is no family to help them. It is my prayer that Lily will never endure that. No, it is not her brothers’ job to take care of his sister but we hope to raise all of our children to feel it is their honor to take care of each other.


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